Southern and Proud of it~

Only A Southerner Knows These

Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a
conniption fit, and that you don't "have" them, you "PITCH" them.

Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens,
peas, beans, etc., make up "a mess." .. and we ain't given our secrets
away to no Yankees

Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of
"yonder."

Only a Southerner gives directions by way of "turn right at the big oak and then left at Aunt Rhonda's ".

Only a Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is - as in: "Going
to town, be back directly." The Cornish also know this secret, but they
'ain't tellin' either.

Even Southern babies know that "gimme some sugar" is not a request for
the white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in
the middle of the table.

All Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is. They might not use the
term, but they know the concept well.

Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace
for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a
big bowl of cold potato salad. If the neighbor's trouble is a real
crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin!

Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "right near" and
"a right far piece." They also know that "just down the road" can be 1
mile or 20.

Only a Southerner, both knows and understands the difference between a
redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white trash.

No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn
signal is actually going to make a turn.
A Southerner knows that "fixin" can be used as a noun, a verb, or an
adverb.
Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines. We don't do
"queues," we do "lines"; and when we're "in line," we talk to everybody!

Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them.

Every Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are
perfectly wonderful; that red eye gravy is also a breakfast food; and
that fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.

When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself lookin'," you know you
are in the presence of a genuine Southerner!

Only true Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk." Sweet tea
indicates the need for sugar and lots of it -- we do not like our tea
unsweetened. "Sweet milk" means you don't want buttermilk.

And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little old
ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say, "Bless her heart"
and go your own way.

To those of you who are still a little embarrassed by our Southerness:
Take two tent revivals and a dose of sausage gravy and call me in the
morning. Bless your heart!

And to those of you who are still having a hard time understanding all
this Southern stuff, bless your hearts, I hear they are fixin' to have
classes on Southernness as a Second Language!

And last but certainly not least, for those that are NOT born Southern
but have lived here for a long, long time, all y'all need a sign to hang
on y'alls front porch that reads "I ain't originally from the South, but
I got here as fast as I could."