fish story by Dwayne

Hey , I had to share this with a few of you, ‘cause its almost too crazy to believe.

You’re probably thinking what river was Dwayne in messing around with catfish. It wasn’t in a river, or a pond, or a pool,……. but on the highway.

I’m cruising down the highway going 60 KPH minding my own business on our blue scooter when this pick up truck passes me going around 100KPH, with a huge water tank on the back and water sloshing everywhere down its back and onto the road.

Just as I was thinking; “What’s in the back of that thing?” this huge catfish jumps out of the tank and starts spinning head over tail right towards me, slams into the front of the motorcycle and veers off to the left of the road, almost wiping me out in the process.

So I think to myself; “Oh man, what would my gravestone say after an incident like this?” and pull over and back up to look at this monster.

I then start thinking like a good transplanted redneck; “How do gut and clean this thing?, and since we’re moving back to China and our kitchen is closed down…how am I going to cook it?” “Man, this could feed 10 people”.

About that time a ton of cars start stopping and everyone is arguing about who is going to take this thing home.

Smiles all around…and many Thai giving me the “thumbs up” sign, I drove off wishing I had some good hushpuppy mix and my kitchen still intact.

Well, the motorcycle and I are both fine, just a little slimy and shook up. Most guys catch fish with nets or pole and line…..I myself, use my motorcycle.

I’m still thanking the Lord he sent an angel to make that thing miss my head.

Can you imagine what that angel thought when he got that order from heaven? ……Good Lord, Dwayne what??????

Blessings guys!
Your most humble fisherman,
Dwayne………………

Church Bulletins~

Thanks Dad for sharing this with me... I laughed at so many of these that I thought I should share them with everyone!

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The Fasting and Prayer Conference includes meals.
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The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water."
The sermon tonight: "Searching for Jesus."
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Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Don't forget your husbands.
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The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict.
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Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say "Hell" to someone who doesn't care much about you.
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Don't let worry kill you off -- let the Church help.
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Miss Charlene Mason sang "I will not pass this way again," giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
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For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
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Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
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Barbara remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more transfusions.
She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Pastor Jack's sermons.
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The Rector will preach his farewell message after which the choir will sing :
"Break Forth Into Joy."
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Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
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A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall.
Music will follow.
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At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What Is Hell?"

Come early and listen to our choir practice.