Beyond Pettiness

Dwayne bought a devotional back at the beginning of the year and started reading it. It's been a great source of some really good conversations and man, it's been such a blessing to me personally and very challenging spiritually.

The title is The One Year Devotional : by Tiegreen

A must read!

Today I just thought I would share what he wrote because it was a great reminder to Dwayne and I how easy it is to get caught up in pettiness and quarrels. The fact is we have all had disagreements with someone we know and possibly love. The question is when is the argument worth severing a relationship?

AUGUST 26
the text is :
Proverbs 17:14 "Starting a quarrel is like breaching a dam; so drop the matter before a dispute breaks out."
2 Timothy 2:23- 24 but as I read on it is important to finish through to verse 26.
"Again, I say, don't get involved in foolish, ignorant arguments that only start fights. The Lord's servants must not quarrel but must be kind to everyone. They must be able to teach effectively and be patient with difficult people. They shoudl gently teach those who oppose the truth. Then they will come to their senses and escape from the Devil's trap. For they have been held captive by him to do whatever he wants."
the quote for today is :
D.L. Moody " I have never yet known the Spirit of God to work where the Lord's people were divided."

IN WORD
What is it in the human psyche that compels us to pursue a matter straight into the heart of a conflict? Do we just enjoy a good fight? For some reason, we frequently feel we must establish truth- as we see it- in even the most petty of disagreements. We often value our opinions more than we value our relationships.
Why is that? What so captures our indignation that we will sacrifice friendships and feelings over something that just isn't worth it? Blessed are those who do not have a contentious spirit with in them, but most people at some time or another have struggled with one. It is human nature. We feel offended when people disagree with us, and we are bent on establishing who is right and wrong. Even when there is no right and wrong.
Does this mean there's no place for conflict? Obviously not. We are called to stand up for what is morally and spiritually right- to a point. Even Jesus was no stranger to conflict., and He is our model. but we must develop the discernment to know what is worth fighting for and what is not. Most of us find ourselves frequently confused on the issue.

IN DEED:
When you sense a conflict escalating, what is your response? Do you take it as a challenge to win? Or can you step back and assess whether it is really worth fighting or? Broken relationships are no pleasure to God. he even inspires the writer to call a quarrel "sin" a few verses later (Proverbs 17:19). Petty squabbles once begun are hard to stop. They do not suit a child of God.
Learn to practice a discipline of restraint. Do not run from an important issue, but do not pursue a pointless one. Let relationships become more important to you than petty proofs and problems. god has done so with us. We must do so with others.

Killing Relationships

Sharpening your interpersonal relationships.... SYIS

This is a training that Dwayne and I took last week and it was so much fun to be in a class with my husband. We were able to really spend some quality time with one another.

This workshop really focuses on dealing with conflict and helping others deal with conflict. It also talks about being a leader and what things we do to kill our relationships. They even talk about stress and grief.... I highly recommend it!

www.itpartners.org

check out the website!


As with most workshops I've taken in the past I'm too tired once I finish to really do the work that is necessary to implement change. The Lord has really been growing me over the years to not just be a hearer but a doer. Thus further reflection on this subject!


So as I flesh it out I'm going to share it with you! This is to also allow you to hold me accountable for the change that is necessary in my life and maybe the Lord will use it to spark change in your life as well!


2 verses are my focus :

Col. 3:12
" Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience."
James 3:17
" but the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all Pure, then peace- loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere."

Here is the thing that really hit me hard.

1. We are to clothe ourselves with : Compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. It isn't an option for us but rather it is expected since we are " God's Chosen People, holy and dearly loved."

2. The wisdom that comes from our LORD and savior is : pure, peace-loving, considerate, submissive , full of mercy , good fruit, impartial and finally sincere.


This made me think about how the Lord has been teaching me the importance of learning to Love everyone and accept everyone where they are -We really don't have any other option. Ever said to yourself, " not someone I want to get to know." ? If we were all honest that isn't really an option for us as Christians. Anyway, I fell really hard once in a friendship and it was a hard lesson in understanding what it means to be a faithful friend. I have hurt people in my life who I considered friends from some of these very things listed in the verbal and nonverbal " relationship killers". Was it intentional? NO- it wasn't but none the less it hurt those who were trying to befriend me or who were and still are my friends.

I guess what the Lord has brought me back to this week is this: That I am His Daughter and because of His choice of me I have a responsibility to Clothe myself with certain characteristics befitting His Child. If I do these things then Wisdom which comes from above will flow in this way: pure, peace- loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy, good fruit, impartial, and sincere. I am almost certain that I would be, as would my friends, blessed if this is the way I acted towards them at all times.

There was a situation where I had spoken what I thought was wisdom but it was none of the above. My message while it may have be true was not spoken with wisdom from above but of my flesh. Thus it caused all kinds of hurt and pain not just in the lives of others but in my life as well.

I'm thankful that the Lord grew me a lot through that situation and taught me that I have a responsibility to guard my lips and my actions. To be slow to speak and slow to anger. To realize that forgiveness as believers isn't an option when there is a heart of reconciliation.

Faithful and trustworthy friends are not abundant - I hope today that we all strive to be a faithful and trustworthy friend- desiring to grow and be changed by our Father above!

Here's to not killing relationships but building them with : compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience, drawing from wisdom from our Lord and Savior, which is first Pure, then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy, good fruit, impartial and sincere.....

How can anyone of us go wrong in our relationships if we are walking in this way!